How to Write a Poem for Someone You Love

Most homemade love poems go wrong in the same few ways. They reach for big words like forever, soulmate and heart. They twist a sentence back to front to land a rhyme, or they lose the rhythm halfway through a line. All of these are easy to fix once you know what to look for. Here's a method that works, followed by a worked example built one step at a time.

1. Start with details, not feelings

The feeling is the reason you're writing, but it isn't what makes a poem moving. Details are. "You mean everything to me" could be written to anyone. "You leave the hall light on when I'm late" could only be written to one person.

Before you write a single line, spend ten minutes making a list. Don't try to be poetic, just be accurate:

• Habits: what do they always do, say, or get slightly wrong?
• Places: where did you meet, get engaged, or have that one disastrous holiday?
• Objects: a mug, a car, a coat, a dog's name, a recipe.
• Small kindnesses: things they do for you that nobody else notices.
• Numbers: years together, ages, a house number, a time of day.

You'll use maybe four of these. Pick the ones that make you smile.

2. Choose a shape: the quatrain

A quatrain is a verse of four lines. It's the best form for a beginner because it's short enough to control and long enough to say something. Two or three quatrains make a complete poem that fits on a card or a single framed page. Give each verse one job. The first sets the scene, the second adds detail, and the third turns towards what it all means.

3. Pick a rhyme scheme

A rhyme scheme describes which line endings rhyme, using letters. Lines with the same letter rhyme with each other. Choose one and stick to it for the whole poem.

ABCB: the easiest

Only lines two and four rhyme. That gives you lots of freedom, which makes it the best place to start.

AABB: rhyming couplets

Lines rhyme in pairs. It sounds bright and bouncy, which suits funny or light-hearted poems:

You hum the news theme every night
and never get the ending right;
you plant the bulbs a week too late
and, every spring, they're worth the wait.

ABAB: alternate rhyme

Lines one and three rhyme, and so do two and four. It's harder, but it sounds the most polished, and it's the scheme used in the sample poems on this blog.

4. Keep a steady beat

Rhythm is what makes a poem sound like a poem when it's read aloud, and it's the thing most homemade poems are missing. The simplest reliable rhythm in English is called iambic tetrameter. It sounds technical, but the idea is simple:

• An iamb is one soft syllable followed by one strong one: da-DUM.
• Tetrameter means four of them in a line: da-DUM da-DUM da-DUM da-DUM.

That gives eight syllables, with the stress on every second one. Here's a line with the stressed syllables in capitals:

you're UP at SIX and OUT the DOOR

Now compare a line that says the same thing but stumbles:

EVery MORNing you GET up so EARly

It has too many syllables, and the stresses fall in the wrong places, so your voice trips over it. To check a line, read it aloud and tap the table on each stress. If you have to force a stress onto a word that wouldn't normally get one, rewrite the line. Swapping a word, cutting a word or changing the order of a phrase usually fixes it.

5. Rhyme without forcing it

Rhyme goes wrong in three common ways:

• Inverted word order. "A cup of tea you leave for me" instead of "you leave a cup of tea for me". If nobody would say it out loud, don't write it.
• Filler words. "Indeed", "so true", "doth", "'tis" and "o'er" are there to make up the numbers, and readers can always tell.
• Words chosen for the sound. If "Spain" only appears because you needed a rhyme for "rain", and you've never been to Spain, the poem stops being true.

Use full rhymes, where the final vowel and consonants match, as in door and more or tea and me. If no honest rhyme works, change the end of the other line instead. You're not stuck with the first word you wrote.

6. Leave the clichés out

Some phrases have been used so often that readers skim straight past them: heart and apart, love and above, forever and together, roses, stars, sunshine, "my rock", "my everything", "life's journey". Swap each one for something from your list of details. "You're my rock" becomes "you know where all the plasters are", and that says far more.

7. End on an image

The last line is the one people remember. Resist the urge to explain the feeling ("and that is why I love you so"). End instead on a picture or a small action that carries the feeling for you. A quiet, specific last line is almost always stronger than a grand one.

A worked example, step by step

Here's the method in action, building one verse for a husband.

Step 1: the details

He's up at six for work. Every morning he leaves a mug of tea for her with a saucer on top to keep it warm. They've been married ten years, and he has never once mentioned it.

Step 2: a first attempt (and what's wrong with it)

Each morning early, off you go,
a cup of tea you leave for me,
upon it placed a saucer, so
it stays as warm as warm can be.

The beat is actually fine. But line two is back to front, and "upon it placed" is both inverted and old-fashioned. "So" is filler, and "as warm as warm can be" is padding that exists only to rhyme with "me". Nobody talks like this.

Step 3: say it plainly, then find the beat

Say it as you would out loud: "You're up at six and out the door, but you leave a saucer on my tea to keep it warm." The first part is already a perfect line of eight syllables: you're UP at SIX and OUT the DOOR. Drop "you" from the second part and that's eight syllables too: but LEAVE a SAUcer ON my TEA.

Step 4: rhyme it simply (ABCB)

You're up at six and out the door,
but leave a saucer on my tea
to keep it warm until I'm up.
You've never mentioned it to me.

That already works. Only tea and me rhyme, and every line sounds like speech.

Step 5: tighten it (ABAB)

To make line three rhyme with "door", list the options: more, floor, before, for, sure. "More" fits a true detail, because it's been going on for ten years. That gives us the finished verse:

You're up at six and out the door,
but leave a saucer on my tea
to keep it warm. Ten years or more,
and never mentioned it to me.

And here's the whole poem, with two more verses built the same way:

A sample poem. The last line doesn't explain the feeling. It shows what she's going to do about it.

Finishing touches

• Read it aloud three times. Fix anything that makes you stumble or wince.
• Give it a plain title, such as their name and the occasion.
• Write it out by hand, or print it and frame it. Either way, it's a gift on its own. It also makes a natural first-anniversary (paper) gift.

For a card instead of a poem, our anniversary card messages use the same idea, with one true detail doing the work.

If you'd rather not write it yourself

Some people love the puzzle of finding the right rhyme. Others would rather spend the time on the rest of the occasion. If you're in the second group, Poem Parlour can write it for you. You share a few details, see a free preview in under a minute, and ask for as many rewrites as you like before choosing a design. There are pages to start from for a wife, a husband, your mum, or occasions like anniversaries and weddings.

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